Saturday, June 30, 2012

A writer without a computer

Well, today marks the day when something happened that has never happened to me before: my computer went on the blitz. I don't know what happened. This morning I was writing, everything was fine. Then I was working on the website, everything was fine. I stopped for about ten minutes and the screen went blank. I thought it was just stuck, so I shut it down. We went to the gym and ran a few errands and came home. I turned the computer back on, and it tried to go through the motions, but no image. Nothing I did worked. It is now being sent off to be worked on. The really bad news: I will be without my precious computer for three weeks! I don't what I'm gong to do. I was just beginning to get back into the swing of writing like crazy because of my new projects. Now I'm lost for three weeks! Thank God I have my iPad so I can keep up with my blogs and check emails. I guess I just have to keep in mind that this, too, shall pass. It's gonna be a long three weeks. This is one of the major downs of the "up and downs of an up and coming writer."

Monday, June 25, 2012

Evils of humanity

I'm writing this at work, while at lunch on Monday afternoon. I'm a bit sleepy and slightly depressed. This weekened there were some fires that were started in Colorado Springs and Woodland Park. Yes, that Woodland Park. The place where Steve and I were only two weeks ago. The place where our friends currently live. The place we will be calling home in a few years. It would appear that the fires have been intentionally set, due to the fact that several of them sparked up in different locations. My heart felt as if was breaking while we watched the stories unfold. While we heard of our friends and others who were forced to evacuate. My heart broke because I already feel that WP is our home, and to have some asshole (or assholes) simply set fire to one of the prettiest places around was so difficult. I try my hardest not to feel that humanity is at its lowest point. That God is not looking down and is ashamed by what we've become. But at moments like this, there is no other way to look at the human race. Look at it and be filled with shame. Of course, I know it is only a fraction that is horrible. But the actions of that small number are at times so horrendous and hurtful, it's almost impossible to view the entire race as nothing more than heartless beasts that don't deserve this planet. That don't deserve the beauty and goodness that God has bestowed us. Perhaps there is hope for us. But right now, I'm afraid for the future. I'm afraid of what we're becoming.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Getting back into a groove

With the Colorado trip behind us, it's time for me to get back into the groove of things.  And I'm doing just that. 
Life had gotten a bit jumbled with all that the publication and release and marketing of Luthor entailed.  But while the book marketing and sales continue, things have quieted into a more managable rythym.

I've completed The Rise of the Son (the sequel to Blue Moon) and now it is in the hands of Steve, and after that another trusted friend, who will give the final comments of what works, what doesn't, and what may need to be added. 
Until then-I write.

I am already working on my next book, Inanimate Objects.  I won't go into too much detail about the content right now, there will be plenty of time later.  But it, like The Rise of the Son, will also be released as an eBook. 

With the popularity and success of eBook publishing growing with each passing week, it has given me new vigor where my writing carreer is concerned.  Whereas before I wrote with the hopes that my work would someday be picked up by a publisher, only to become frustrated with the process of query letters and the inevitable rejections, I now write with the knowledge that I will publish my own work and take hold of my future.

The Rise of the Son, Inanimate Objects, and several other books have, for the most part, been completed and merely sat waiting (as Luthor had).  Now, it's time for the world to see what I've been working on for the past twenty-some-odd years. 

I am re-working all the books, giving them a polish with knowledge and new skills I've learned since their creation.  And in doing so, I am getting back into a pattern of writing like I used to.  With a slightly new pep in my step. 

The future is completely open, and I intend to make the most of it. 

So, get you Kindles and Nooks (they're all free to download, if you don't have the specific device) and get ready for some really fun and twisted reading!

Don't forget to stop by my site and see what's new in the Store. 
                                              www.polmcshane.com

Monday, June 18, 2012

Really?

Let me start by saying that I'm trying, I'm really, really trying not to be miserable here.  But Fate is making it impossible!

On Friday evening, my drive home from work was horrific.  I work roughly 12 miles from home, and with Austin traffic, it usually takes me about 20-25 minutes to get home.  On Friday, it took an hour.  And to make matters worse, there was no reason at all for it! There was no wreck, no stalled car, no person on the side of the road changing a tire (something that slows traffic down tremendously in Austin, since it's such an amazing sight, people have to slow down to see exactly how a tire is changed) nothing!
Then, today, Monday-THE VERY NEXT WORK DAY, it took me 45 minutes.  Really?  I sat idling, motionless for about 20 of those minutes.  At least today there was a wreck and gave some purpose to the delay. 

I am trying to convince myself that we've got 2 years remaining here and I have to accept it and be calm, but at this rate, I'm gonna be in the nervous hospital before one of those years is up. 
Add to that the stress of simply driving when you're not stuck in traffic. The people here are crap drivers! Steve was just almost hit on the way home today because some A-hole passed him on the wrong side and then had to cut in front of him because the guy was gonna have a head-on with someone coming the other way.  Then the A-hole did the same thing to the next person, but that one didn't work out so well for him because he ran out of road and had to pull into a parking lot.

Our good friends were just in a wreck on Saturday because some dumb B hit them (and no driver's licence or insurance, thank you very much!). 

On my way to work this morning (5:50) I got stuck in the slightest traffic jam because cops were showing up at the scene of a two car rollover.  It had just happened so I was able to get through that jam without much trouble.  But, really? You're going so fast during the morning commute that you roll your car?

Okay, I'm done bitching.  I'm gonna have some wine now.  It's the way I've been calming myself lately.
Great, now I'm gonna become a drunk and be put in the nervous hospital!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Getting back to it-

We got back from Colorado about four days ago. I'm not ashamed to say that leaving the mountain almost brought tears to my eyes. I truly felt at home there, and there is no doubt in my mind that it's where we are meant to be. Getting back into the swing of things has been a bit rough the past few days. My body sits at work, my hands do the task they've done for the past 23 years without much thought to assist them, which is good, since my mind is still up on the mountain. My horoscope this morning was eerily spot on. It said that, although I am looking far into the future at where I truly want to be, I need to accept where I am now. That things will happen when they're supposed to happen (you've heard me say that plenty of times). All those things are so true, and I know there will be the day we climb that pass back up to Woodland Park for good, and that day will be here before we know it. But, for those of you who have read my blog for any length of time, I don't do well with waiting. I freakin hate it! But the time we have to wait is important. There are things we need to do before we move. Bills need to be paid off. I need to retire from the City. And I need to sell more books in order to help those previous items get accomplished quicker. (Insert subliminal message here *buy my books!*) So I will go through the daily routine of getting up for work and spending the day trying not to harp too much on the fact that I don't want to be there. I will hit the gym as often as possible, and write mostly every night. The days will pass one by one. They will add up to weeks, then months, and then years, until that fateful moment arrives when that new chapter in our lives begins.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

A life changing experience-


It doesn't seem possible, but our trip to Colorado that we were looking so forward to has come and gone.  But in its wake are some memories that will forever be embedded in our hearts. 

The trip was everything we'd hoped it would be and more.  I had never been to the mountains of Colorado before, and the majesty of it all was more than I had been prepared for.  From the amazing pass between Colorado Springs, up the mounain, to Woodland Park, to the gorgeous town itself.  Everywhere you looked there was something to see.  Deer walking around the neighborhoods, aspens trees scattered everywhere, their leaves singing in the breeze.  And each turn you made brought your eyes to the wonder of Pike's Peak, that watches over everyone like a protective parent. 

If there was any doubt that Woodland Park was the place we would end up in our future, they have been wholly eradicated.  I have never before felt more connected to a place, or at peace, as when I was standing in the forests of the mountain. 


While we were there, we celebrated our 20th anniversary of being together and our 4th anniversary of marriage.  On that day we did something that will forever change our lives: We had a very intimate interaction with wolves.

Since writing Johnny & Joey adventures and creating the character of the grey wolf Ilza, who watches over Lazoo, the grizzly, I've had a certain connection with wolves.  Perhaps I always have, even back as far as when I wrote Blue Moon and the wolf connections there.  They are amazing animals. 
So, when Steve and I went into Divide, Co, about 10 miles west of Woodland Park, we couldn't pass up the opportunity to make out with wolves at the Colorado Wolf and Wildlife Center. 

We say "make out" because that's pretty much what we did. 
Before going into the enclosure with two grey wolves, we were given instructions (quite a bit of instructions, that went along with removing chapstick from our pockets and anything else the wolves might take an "interest" in).  We were told that wolves will lick each other's teeth to show that they have accepted you.  If we didn't want our teeth licked, we would simply keep our mouths closed and back our head away (don't push them away because that would be seen as an insult and things might get ugly).  But Steve and I had no aversion to the teeth licking, we looked forward to being accepted by the wolves.

So, while we interacted with Micha and Keara, we did indeed get our teeth licked, along with the rest of our faces. 
It was a surreal experience to have such powerful animals literally licking our faces, knowing that at any moment, they could rip them off they had a mind to.
 
I keep referring to the moment to sky-diving.  I'm sure the thrill of that is the actual jumping out of a plane and the sensation of falling to the earth, knowing that there is always that slight chance something may go wrong. 
The intimate interactions with those amazing animals was our way of jumping out of a plane thousands of feet above the Earth.
It is something we will never forget, and something that changed us in a deep metaphysical way.  It was the perfect way to end our trip to Colorado. 

So, now we're back in Austin.  I feel weird saying "Back home" because I feel my home is in Woodland Park.  They say home is where the heart is, and yes that's true, but I left part of my heart on that mountain as a reminder that we will be back-and we'll back to stay. 

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Full heart-

I sit here, in a cottage in our friends' backyard where Steve and I are staying in Woodland Park, Colorado, with a full heart. In 2008, when Steve and I returned from Canada, we made the decision that we would be leaving Austin. We spent the next year or so trying to decide where we wanted to go. We toyed with Portand, Sante Fe and even returning to Canada. But one day I discovered a place called Woodland Park, Colorado. It seemed like it had everything we were looking for: small town, woods, snow in the winter. The more I researched about WP, the more I liked. Eventually we met our friends Kevin & Jeremy, who happen to be moving to WP and we followed their adventure of moving to the town that would one day be our home. No matter how much I looked at pictures of WP or sat at the computer and stared at the traffic cams, it did not prepare me for seeing it in person. Actually, seeing Colorado in general was an eye-opening experience. But the City Above the Clouds was and is everything I had hoped. Aside from the beauty of it, the people are nice and of course the weather is to die for. I know we will have two years to wait until we can make this dream a reality, but I will spend that two years doing everything in my power to make our dream a reality. In a few days, we're going to have to return to Austin, but it will only be 90% of my being that returns, because I will be leaving my heart on the mountain in Woodland Park.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Too excited!

By this time tomorrow morning we will be on the road, on our way to Colorado!!!!  I still can't help but wish it was for good, but that will  come in time.

I'm just a jumble of nervous energy and excitement.  I got up even earlier than usual this morning because I couldn't sleep.  I can't really do anything today until Steve gets up, but my mind was too busy going over everything to sleep. 

Yesterday we got an oil change on the Jeep and today we need to get Steve's hair cut and pick up some food for the baby and give the baby a bath (very important when he's going to meet new people), and pack our stuff up.  We've started getting things ready, sort of.  Have a list of items that we'll be taking and have started a little pile.  But the clothes and other items had to wait until last.

But you know what, even though I got up early, I sat at the computer and tried to work on The Rise of the Son, but I couldn't concentrate.  As much as I attempted to focus my attention on werewolves, I found my thoughts drifting to the sights we'll be seeing in Colorado.  And most of all, the sight of our new home-Woodland Park!

This will be my first time in Colorado and I know I'm going to just fall more in love with it than I already am.  Yeah!!!!

Good Lord, how and I ever going to get to sleep tonight?